Do you have a 2019 new year’s resolution? Although it’s cliché, one of my top resolutions for 2018 was to lose weight—about 15-20 pounds. I typically would just run for exercise, so I set about attaining my weight loss goal by increasing my frequency of exercise and varying the types of exercise that I do. But then something unexpected occurred in May of last year—my son started taking mixed martial arts classes. Then my husband started taking mixed martial arts classes. Then I started taking mixed martial arts classes. With all this exercise, I thought I would certainly achieve my goal! But by the end of 2018, I weighed exactly the same as I weighed at the beginning of 2018.

Clearly, I didn’t achieve my goal of weight loss; nevertheless, sometimes it’s necessary to find the unexpected gains in unintended outcomes. Although I didn’t lose weight, I didn’t gain weight either—and hey, that’s a victory! But there were other gains. I am stronger, faster, and more flexible than I was a year ago. We have a new community at the marital arts dojo, and they are reinforcing the tenets of discipline and respect that we are teaching our son at home. The biggest victory of all that has come out of taking martial arts classes is that our little family now has something that we can all do together. My husband and I have so much fun in class together, and I can bond with my son with every jab-cross. My little six-year-old asks me to flex my muscles and is wowed at his mom’s growing biceps. What a gift for a boy to believe that his mom is strong! I now have a new, unexpected goal of eventually becoming a black belt, which is something I never in my life thought I would say.

I could look at my weight loss as defeat, renew my goal of losing weight, and go to unhealthy extremes to try to get the scale to drop again in the coming year, but instead of calling it a loss, sometimes it’s better to redefine goals. Being strong and healthy is more important to me than getting down to the weight I was when I got married. The community we have gained through the people we’ve met in our MMA classes is an unexpected blessing. A different kind of date night with my husband has given us something new to talk about and look forward to together. Having a common, lifelong interest with my son is something I wouldn’t trade for the world. These are all things that I wanted for my life at my core, but they were unintended outcomes. Maintaining and stewarding these victories is my new goal for this year.

My personal victories through the influence of Hatch Creatives have been similar to the victories I found on my fitness journey. I could look back on this year and try and quantify success or failure with a number, but I prefer instead to take time to acknowledge progress. My professional goal for 2018 was to get a side hustle using my skills as an English teacher and writer. Before coming across Hatch, my view of myself often began with “I’m not,” and “I can’t.” At the meetings, I was often shy about meeting people because of the inevitable questions about what-I-do and why-I’m-there, but Hatch Creatives gave me a place where I was forced to say out loud what my professional gifts and dreams are. This alone gave me the confidence to say “yes” to opportunities that came my way over the past year. My view of myself has become “I am,” and “I can.” I have also investigated and defined what the next steps are for other projects that I have, and I know how to move toward those goals when I’m ready. In martial arts, our Sensei often says “Progress, not perfection!”

Whatever your vantage point is at the beginning of this year, I want to encourage you not to be too hard on yourself. Be grateful for the unintended gains from unexpected outcomes of the past year. Redefine your goals, if necessary, to align with your core dreams and visions. Take time to acknowledge the progress you’ve had in various areas in your life. You don’t have to wait for next year to see how far you’ve come and celebrate where you are.