When I think of friendship, I think of Buzz and Woody, or Lucy and Ethel. I think of Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and Lord of the Rings. I also think about all the friends I’ve had in different stages of my life—my elementary school friends, (let’s skip middle school), my high school friends, college friends, and coworkers who became dear friends from all kinds of jobs. I have friends from church, neighbors who have become friends, and friends from my son’s activities. Some friends are only for a season, and others I can reach out to at any time. Some friendships are just at the surface, and other friendships penetrate the soul. I think of friendships that have dissolved and friendships that ended in what felt like divorce. I think of friendships that have remained steadfast even through crisis and distance. Friendships are painful, complicated, and hard, but friendships are also necessary, good, and fulfilling. Friendships are what make life, life. As such an integral part of life, it’s also an integral part of a business. Here are three ways to make your business (or yourself) friendlier.

Networking

Making friends is hard, and keeping friends is even harder. As an introvert, I have observed that most of my friends are extroverts, and I need them in my life! It is outside of my comfort zone to introduce myself to someone I don’t know and engage him/her in conversation; however, the Bible says if you want to have friends, you have to be friendly (Proverbs 18:24). When I approach someone with a desire to listen or meet a need in her life, it just feels more comfortable and sincere. Networking, to me, carries a connotation of “all about me” but you can approach it as an opportunity to serve others—no strings attached. Dale Carnegie writes in his 1936 book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” Broaden your business or social network by finding ways to serve people, and turn what could be superficial relationships into an incredibly fulfilling aspect of your business and your life.

Customer Relationships

As a millennial who doesn’t fit many of the millennial stereotypes, I often find myself in really trendy coffee shops and other businesses with other people my age, feeling as though I don’t belong or like I’m not welcome. Maybe it’s me, but I also think some businesses just aren’t friendly. An air of exclusivity is perhaps initially part of the draw, but snobbery isn’t going to keep me walking through the door—no matter how badly I want a latte and avocado toast. I want to feel like I’m welcome when I enter a business, like I’m invited to stay as long as I please, and like I’m just the type of person they were hoping would stop in. As the face of your business, you need to be friendly! Be helpful! Mark Twain recognized, “Kindness is a language the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” What’s your company culture? Create a culture that greets people when they walk in the door (literally or figuratively) by setting the example. Look people in the eye. Shake their hand. Remember their name. As a consumer, I appreciate even the simplest gesture, such as ordering something on Etsy and getting a cute thank you card with the order. When I have an unpleasant experience with businesses, guess what? I go out of my way to not give that business my money. Manage your client relationships well by treating people with kindness and consideration, and your clients will return the gesture by spending their money in your business.

Friendly Competition

I don’t think of myself as a competitive person; nevertheless, occasionally I do think competitive thoughts, such as, “Hey, why didn’t I get that recognition?” or “Am I not performing at least as well as she is?” In these moments, it’s tempting to avoid a friendship with the person whom I feel challenged by, but it’s so much healthier to press into those relationships with a teachable spirit. When you are friendly with your competitors, you can share best practices, creativity, and encouragement. It’s actually a gift to have someone operating in the same space as you and trying to reach the same market: you have someone who understands, someone to collaborate with, and someone to learn from. Why not learn from mistakes someone else made? There’s also an opportunity for you to offer your experience and wisdom as a mentor. You might even end up referring business to each other. Healthy competition incentivizes you to perform better and not become complacent. Learn how to be effective and profitable in your business by building relationships with people who are doing the same thing that you are.

Consider that friendship isn’t only about the people around you are treating you, but it’s also about how you are treating other people. Here’s the challenge: find ways to use networking, customer relationships, and competition to make your business—and yourself—friendlier.