I’m too busy to write this blog post right now.

My to-do list for work is a mile long, my house is a mess, I should be spending time with my family, and I haven’t seen my friends in weeks. Can you relate?

When my schedule gets full, the first thing I sacrifice is my relational health. I cancel my dinner plans, lock myself in my office and apologize to my husband, and wave off invitations to spend time with friends.

I’ve always been the gal on the go who multitasks like an expert — but as I’ve grown older, I’m realizing that I’m not busy because I’m super successful. I’m always busy (and stressed as a result) because my priorities are often out of whack.

Busy Is Not A Badge of Honor

What could be better than having a schedule crammed with official-sounding assignments and important people? It’s easy for me to feel pride when I tell you that I’m too swamped to see you, but I’ve realized that the happiest people I know aren’t running low on sleep and accidentally double-booking themselves.

The most fulfilled people in my life go on vacation and turn off their phones. They make time for nail appointments and margarita nights. They spend time with their families, with the people they love, with those in need — and they aren’t constantly checking their watches because there’s someone else waiting.

When you’re too busy to do the things that make you feel alive, it’s not an accomplishment or a sign that you’ve made it — it’s a reality check that you need to learn how to manage your time well.

Saying “Yes” When I Want to Say “No”

If anyone has an excuse to hole up and work instead of prioritizing meaningful friendships, it’s me. I own my own business, manage a lifestyle blog, and have a husband who’s all about quality time. Who has time for girl’s night in the midst of all of this?

Answer: I do. Even though I often feel like the busiest person in the world, I’m working on saying “yes” to community when I want to say, “absolutely not.” I’ve never once regretted putting off work for a long chat with an old friend; I’d rather make less money this month and feel energized by the people I love. If you’re caught in the dreaded busyness loop, try to make plans even if you feel like it’ll stress you out more. Forcing yourself to take a break is healthy.

Learning Time Management

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I’m always overwhelmed by my workload and I struggle with procrastination. I used to dismiss it as laziness, but I’ve realized that I usually put things off because I’m afraid I won’t do them well.

Anytime that I’m stressed about my busy schedule, I try to ask myself a simple question: What can I do in the next 10 minutes to make this less overwhelming? It can be as simple as washing the dishes in the sink or starting to map out a plan for my newest client. Concentrating on individual tasks instead of all the things I want to accomplish in the next six months is immensely helpful.

Accountability Is Key

Find someone who understands your addiction to chronic busyness and ask them to hold you accountable. I’m not suggesting that you drop all responsibilities to eat bonbons and watch daytime television (although let’s be real – that does sound like the dream), but it’s not healthy to isolate yourself in the name of work. Make plans with your accountability buddy on a weekly basis to make sure that you’re spending time with someone who cares about you and your well-being. If you don’t feel comfortable asking someone for help, set reminders on your phone to take a break, call your grandma, go for a walk — whatever you need to do to stay grounded and remember the big picture.

There are times in life when you really are too busy to spend time with friends. But in the long run, I want to be known for the people who I pour into, not the money I make or the clients I have. Putting meaningful things first isn’t selfish — it’s one of the most generous things you can do for yourself and the people around you.