It’s 2019 and there are women still experiencing sexism in the workplace. *Yells in feminist.* Depending on the industry, it may come with the territory, but should it? Absolutely not. Sexism has played a demeaning and unacceptable role in workplaces ever since women stepped foot into them, but that hasn’t stopped many of us from calling it out and smashing the glass ceilings above us.

Casual sexism, the almost unnoticeable bias, sexist jokes, and being treated differently than male coworkers, is almost expected these days.

Before the thought of quitting your job crosses your mind, there are ways that you—yes, you—could be the catalyst for lasting change in your workplace. 

Find Allies

If you are experiencing sexism in your workplace, it’s likely that you’re not the only one. Find allies who will always defend you and others when something inappropriate is said or done. A workplace where you feel like an outsider can quickly alter your mental and emotional health, but having even one trusted ally can keep you feeling sane and, ultimately, safe. Allies can be both women and men, and change can blossom from having people in your corner.

Know When to Speak Up

Maybe I’m the only woman who has openly called-out sexism in a large meeting, but not everyone works that way, and that’s okay–eventually this needs to be confronted. If a coworker or boss treats you differently than your male coworkers, muster the bravery to ask what his (or her) deal is—diplomatically, of course. A simple, “Why did you invite (male coworker) to that meeting but didn’t invite me?” or “Why did you say (insert sexist joke here) in the breakroom this morning?” 

Perhaps they’re completely blinded from seeing their casual sexism. Regardless, direct questioning gives them the opportunity to change their behavior. A forewarning, if they fight back or defend their sexism then the conversation might go nowhere. Say what you need to say and be prepared to walk away knowing that you made a huge step in the right direction, even if it wasn’t received well.

March to HR

Let’s say the conversation with your boss (or coworker) didn’t go as planned. Let’s say that the casual sexism has crossed a line and you are experiencing overt sexism, i.e. direct sexist comments, you’re hindered from career growth regardless of your work performance, or sexual harassment. These experiences are not okay and need to be brought to HR—that’s what they’re there for! March your way to their office and make a complaint (it can be anonymous, but may not prove to be as effective.)

Okay, let’s say you’ve taken all the steps. You have your allies, you’ve confronted your sexist boss, and you’ve filed complaints with HR. But . . . nothing changes or, maybe it’s gotten worse. Do you quit? Listen, I can’t tell you what to do—but I’m happy to offer advice. 

Time to Go

First and foremost, if you are unsafe in your workplace because of sexism, it is time for you to leave. If you have genuine fears of going to work or have been sexually assaulted, girl, get out of there. File complaints (or lawsuits) where necessary if you are comfortable, but it is vital for me to add that if you have been assaulted it is not your responsibility to do anything other than take the measures necessary to protect yourself and heal. Regardless, the law is on your side with this.

If you fear the financial ramifications of legal assistance, you can request legal assistance through Time’s Up Legal Defense Fund here.

Weigh It Out

If you are safe but emotionally overwhelmed by the weight of your sexist workplace, you and only you, can weigh your current state of mental health. Or, maybe, you’re just tired. You can’t put up the fight anymore and you need a physical, mental, and emotional break. That’s okay, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. 

Have you considered a sabbatical? Many workplaces allow these and it may prove beneficial to take time away to consider your options.

Are you up for a promotion where you’d be working with a different, healthier team? That might be worth sticking around for, but only you can measure the pros and cons at play.

While you weigh it out, do your best to save your finances in case you do decide to leave. That way, you won’t be overwhelmed by any potential financial burdens.

Hang in There

You won the battle . . . but not the war. If you know that your workplace isn’t the end-all-be-all for you professionally but you are safe, making a difference, and have some fight left in you, keep going. Save as much as you can. Begin the hunt for a new job. Switching jobs quickly could leave you in a similar (or worse) situation, so don’t hurry out before you feel it’s right.

There does come a time when a change is necessary. Not all workplaces are equal. Just because one team of professionals is comfortable with casual or overt sexism doesn’t mean you need to settle for that and retire there. 

Beyond what your sexist boss or coworkers may see, you bring imminent value to your workplace. You are talented, you are bright, you are irreplaceable, no matter what the haters say. The fight continues, but you aren’t alone, sister. I am standing with you and so many others facing this fight, and we aren’t giving up any time soon.

If you are experiencing sexual harassment or assault and feel unsafe in your workplace, it is no longer healthy for you to remain there. Follow the steps found here, and/or call 800.656.HOPE (4673) to be connected with a trained staff member from a confidential sexual assault service provider in your area.