“You can trust me.” It’s something I say to people in my life all the time, in one way or another. Whether it’s explicitly, through actions, or by making and keeping promises. However, this past year, I realized I didn’t trust myself to follow through on promises I told myself. I had been moving through the world in chaos rather than with confidence, simply because I didn’t trust myself.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, what can you do about it? While I’m still in the process of mastering this (and honestly will be working on it forever), there are a few promises I’ve begun to keep to myself that have boosted my confidence and removed some of the chaos. These are small commitments that I’d usually brush aside, thinking they won’t make a big impact. But when I combine them and keep these promises consistently, they have given me the boost in confidence and self-assurance that I’d been craving in chaos. 

Here are 5 promises that I’ve started keeping that have made a difference for me and maybe will inspire promises that you can keep for you!

1. Complete one small thing each day that you’ve been avoiding 

We all have small tasks, like booking a doctor’s appointment, cleaning out that drawer, sending that email, etc. that we avoid, avoid, avoid. Rather than lumping all these tasks into one giant to-do on one day, I’ve started to spread them out. I know that by promising myself that I will get one of these things done each day, little by little it WILL get done. I’ve come to trust myself in this area and it’s made a huge difference to not have a mountain of things I’ve been avoiding smack me in the face all at once. When you keep this little promise you’ll begin to trust your own follow-through and build confidence.

2. Honor your night routine 

Yes, I know we have all heard this one before. But honoring our sleep is a wonderful promise we can keep to ourselves! Showing up for my bedtime has proven to help with how I carry myself into the next day with more confidence and self-assurance. I feel more like me, grounded, and more motivated to keep my other promises to myself. When we’re not coming from a place of exhaustion we can stay internally confident even when there is external chaos around us.

3. The ⅔ method for getting ready 

For me personally, it doesn’t always work out to get fully ready every single day. And by “ready” I mean hair, makeup, and an outfit. Adopting the ⅔ rule when getting ready means you focus on 2 of these 3 areas. When I am in an outfit that I like with a little bit of makeup, I’ve found that this is enough for me to feel ready for whatever the day is going to bring! Same for any combination of 2 out of the 3. 

4. Saying no when you mean no  

I am the master of saying “yes” to things that I know I should say “no” to. If someone was going to win an award for this, I would definitely be in the running. When I say yes to things that either I don’t have time for, don’t feel equipped for, or simply don’t have a desire to do, I’ve found that my confidence dwindles and resentment builds – leading to frustration that I can’t trust myself to take care of me. In a situation where you can say, ‘no’ with a quiet confidence in yourself that this is right for you, the others involved, and even for the situation as a whole, you eliminate a little bit of the chaos and build trust with yourself.

5. Don’t ghost your needs 

We all have needs like rest, food, connection, personal time, exercise, etc. And of course, we can’t always have what we want immediately when we want it! But, I started literally ghosting myself because I felt too busy or what I needed felt unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Now, I have started intentionally listening to myself and what my needs are and carving out the time and space to take care of myself. When a need shows up, I promise to listen to it, validate it, and do something about it. It might take a minute to take care of it but I have built enough self trust to know it will happen. Our needs are not inconveniences! 

Every time I follow through on a promise to myself, I send a little signal to my nervous system that says “you can trust me!” I’ve got myself and am going to do for myself what I say I will. Self trust brings a comfortable confidence and it allows you to take on the chaos that is naturally going to happen around you. Make promises to yourself and keep them just like you would for others in your life! 

You’ve got you!