When you were a child, were you afraid of the dark? I was. I would sometimes lie in my bed at night, paralyzed by the shadows being cast on the wall. In my innocence, I couldn’t know that there were no monsters outside my window, but merely an exterior house light projecting tree branches, or the headlights of a passing car creating the illusion of movement. As I got older, the figurative shadows on my wall persisted, but as I became more aware of the sources, the fear of those shadows dissipated. As you pursue your dreams, are the shadows of failure being cast on the wall? Let’s dispel them. Here are four steps in overcoming the fear of failure.

As an adult, the fear of failure overshadows many areas of my life—but as in the shadows on my childhood bedroom wall, the first step to overcome your fear is to identify the source. For me, the main source of fear is the past. Because I have experienced failure before, I often expect failure as I move toward something new; however, the past is not the prologue to your future. Just because you have experienced failure before does not mean it is your destiny.

The second step you can take to overcome fear of failure is to recognize what is true about the situation and what is merely a shadow. What is true of your life today? What can you do, today, to make progress with your dreams and goals? Once you see where the fear of failure is coming from, you can then identify whether or not your fear is legitimate. You can say to yourself, these are just shadows, or take the necessary steps to prepare if the fears are valid. It is natural for women to be more inclined to fear than men. Because of our differences in brain chemistry, women are more perceptive than men, and consequently, more fearful. Fear is good when it keeps us from taking on too much risk or making avoidable mistakes, but we can also learn how to convert unsubstantiated fear into productivity by recognizing what is true and planning accordingly.

Another step in overcoming the fear of failure is to disassociate what you are doing with who you are. Often the fear that I will fail in what I am doing manifests itself in negative thoughts about who I am. For example, in the way of writing, when the fear of failure creeps in I could think: I am not good enough . . . No one wants to hear what I have to say…I have nothing of value to contribute. These are lies; the success (or failure) of what I create does not define who I am. You are not the project you are working on or the product you are selling. If those things fail, that doesn’t mean that you are a failure. Your business does not define who you are. It’s important to separate the two and find your identity in truth. Even in the middle of a disappointment or a setback, you can rely on certain truths of who you are as a person. What is true is that you are doing your best. You are going to keep trying. You can get better at this. You can learn from your mistakes. You can continue to pursue excellence. By focusing on what is true, you are turning on a big, bright light, which will dispel any shadows.

Finally, give yourself permission to fail. By giving yourself permission to fail, you redefine the boundaries of failure. You have heard examples of inventors and scientists who have thousands of failed attempts before finding their greatest invention or discovery, and there is so much truth in the model of failure as a necessary step to success. When failure is permissible, then it’s not so scary after all. It is a part of the process. Failure is allowed; it is a learning opportunity and the chance to experience growth in yourself and your business. Failure is not a dead end; in knowing this, you can have the freedom to continue to move toward your dreams and goals.

The fear of failure can keep you from your greatest successes if you allow it to paralyze you, the same way I was paralyzed by shadows in my childhood bedroom. But here’s the thing—you have choices in the midst of fear. You can identify the source of your fears, assess their validity, and focus on what is true. You can know that your identity is not in what you do, and you can make failure an acceptable, temporary outcome. In these ways, instead of being overcome by the fear of failure, you can overcome it.