If you ever stumble across my social media, take a meeting in my office, or sit inside my colorful apartment, you’ll notice the same eight, pretty faces, smiling back at you in nearly every captioned, displayed, or framed photo.

In the last 10 years, I have learned more about myself and how I want to live my life from these women than I could have imagined when we met as college freshmen. These days, we cover seven different states and five unique professional industries, some have married and there’s even one baby represented in the group—but, despite those differences, and more, they are still the people I keep coming back to.

Over the years I have gotten so many questions and comments about the great eight – like, How do you all get along? I bet there’s gotta be drama with that many girls! Looks like you have to be pretty and successful to be in that group. Do you really like every single, one of them?

Usually these comments just make me laugh, and may even get an eye roll out of me, because they couldn’t be farther from the truth. The more time that passes, and the more relentlessly I hear these kinds of questions, the more I realize how deep the misconceptions really run when it comes to female friendship. The themes of discord, competition, and vanity come up over and over again.

If I had allowed those misconceptions to guide me then I could have missed out on some of the most meaningful lessons, and some of the greatest sources of encouragement and strength, I have in my life.

So here’s eight lessons on life and friendship that I could have missed out on without shedding those misconceptions and making the great eight a part of my life and my heart.

  1. Make time. We do one big trip per year, sometimes we go somewhere new and sometimes we just visit one of our home bases. When people ask how we pull this off, or how we’ve stayed in touch, I think they’re expecting some magic trick we use to make it happen, but it all boils down to this—we make time.
  2. Laugh often. The kind of laughing you do when you’re with ‘your people.’ The kind of laughing that leaves tears streaming down cheeks. This is the kind of laughing we have to do together, we can’t do it in isolation.
  3. Say “yes.” I know lots of people need help saying “no.” There are great articles, books, and talks centered on this—here’s a secret for me though, I don’t usually have a hard time saying “no.” It’s saying “yes” that can scare me! But I’ve watched these girls say “yes” to hard things and things that didn’t have a guaranteed outcome. I’ve seen the power of “yes” grow and stretch them in ways that empowers me to put way more “yes’s” in my life.
  4. Lean in. Sit with people in their pain, ask them the hard questions, pick up the phone and keep checking in. Your persistent presence makes a difference.
  5. Ask for help. It doesn’t matter if its help with what to wear, what recipe to try, or just what to do next, leveraging trusted advice gives us greater confidence in whatever that next venture may be. (We also highly recommend a shared Amazon list, ‘cause who doesn’t need help knowing what to buy next?!)
  6. The brighter the lipstick the brighter the smile. This is legitimately stitched onto a tea towel in my kitchen—created by one of the great eight gals! On a funny note, the great eight can rock some seriously great lipstick, but on a more serious note, something happens to our hearts when we smile.
  7. Celebrate. Big and small victories are worth celebrating—slow down enough to do it properly. Whether its graduations, birthdays, promotions, weddings, new businesses, or babies, we’ve celebrated it all. Experiencing joy for someone else is life-giving and it’s the cornerstone of meaningful friendships.
  8. Love fiercely and fully. I know the way these girls love me, I know the way they love their families and the people in their lives, they do it without self-preservation and without hesitation. Watching them love in their own, unique way has taught me more than I could have ever expected.

“My friends have made the story of my life. In a thousand ways they have turned my limitations into beautiful privileges.”—Helen Keller

Be the kind of friend who exchanges these acts of friendship daily and don’t be afraid to let people do the same thing for you.  When I consider the ways these women have enriched and propelled my life, I stand amazed by the sheer power of friendship.

So here’s to the great eight, I am better because of you.