Have you ever found yourself stuck in the same old dinner-and-a-movie (at home) routine? Too exhausted from the day to think or plan another date night? That was us–not bored, but craving something a bit more exciting. One day, in a burst of spontaneity, (and maybe some Pinterest scrolling), my husband and I decided to try something new: an alphabet dating challenge. The idea was simple, we had a list from A-Z of date ideas. But what we didn’t realize is that this little challenge would completely transform how we began to date each other. We didn’t expect it would change the way we connect, laugh, and experience life together. 

The Inspo Behind Alphabet Dating 

It all started when we realized our date nights had become predictable. “Wednesday date night,” was, of course, already our favorite night of the week. We planned it that way to break up the week. To give us something to look forward to. But, when it came down to it, we always found ourselves falling into the, “What do you want to do?” “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” trap. When I came across the idea of “alphabet dating” I didn’t hesitate and immediately knew it was something we had to try for ourselves. It was the perfect mix of adventure, fun, structure, and creativity, and the best part was that it gave us something to look forward to and an excuse to try things we’d never think of on our own. 

How We Got Started 

We kept it simple. Each week, we would plan a date around a letter of the alphabet. Starting with A and working our way through to Z. The only rule was that the date had to somehow relate to the letter we were currently on. “A” for arcade night, “B” for baking blindfolded, “C” for cinema, and so on. Sometimes we went all out and did multiple things for that letter, other times we stayed in and got super creative. But the best part was how intentional we each became about having fun together.

A Few Of Our Favorite Letters (and Dates!)

  • I – Indoor Camping. Think kid forts, but taking over your entire living room. We built a fort out of fishing line and clothespins surrounding our TV, and filled it with all the pillows and blankets we could find. To then have a video game marathon till our hearts’ content.
  • J – Jigsaw Puzzles and (smooth) Jazz. We went on a hunt to find the best jigsaw puzzle to take back home and work on while we sipped on a glass of wine and listened to smooth jazz. 
  • L – Lupes (best Cali burritos), Long Walk, and a Laguna Beach Sunset. One of our all-time favorite burrito spots happens to start with the letter L, so we knew when we got to this letter that it was a must for date night. And although we live so close to the beach, we often find ourselves making excuses. This time we didn’t give ourselves a choice. 

What We Learned About Each Other

Date nights have always been a priority for us. Especially with quality time being both of our love languages. Before getting married, people always told us to “never get tired of dating each other,” whether you had been married for 20+ years or were newly married like us. So this challenge felt like the perfect way to set the tone for what would be a continuous dating of each other. What surprised us the most wasn’t just how fun the dates were, but how much we learned about one another. 

I learned I am very competitive (Letter G – game night), and he learned that it’s only with him that I am this competitive. We both learned we are very much big foodies (Letter H – The Hat Deli, aka the best pastrami sandwiches you’ll find in OC).

More than anything, we learned how important it is to have fun together. Life moves so quickly and can often be so serious. Having fun, laughing, exploring, and being silly in public can bring a whole new meaning to closeness. 

Tips for Starting Your Own Alphabet Dating Challenge

  • Start with a shared list – Go on Pinterest and find a list of alphabet dating ideas. Add it to your notes and add or remove ideas you like/don’t like. Brainstorm together.
  • Be flexible – Sometimes the dates will change, and you may have to move it to the weekend or the following week. And realize not every date has to be IG-worthy. 
  • Make it a priority – Life will always throw so much at you, but it’s true when they say, “You make time for the things that are most important to you.” So make this the “important thing,” and prioritize your date nights.
  • Set a pace that works for you – If once a week is too hard, maybe every other week is better. Maybe you have children and can’t find a babysitter that week. Date night for you might look like staying in that week, putting the kids to sleep, and planning your date night at home.  
  • Alternate who plans each letter/date – This helps lessen the planning load on each of you and can be a good challenge. We would typically alternate who was in charge of planning for each letter. This helped make sure that the planning didn’t just fall to whoever had more time, and challenged us to be more intentional in the planning process. 
  • Use it as an excuse to try something new – Now, although the idea of planning a date night out of the house can feel daunting at times, I believe it is so important. Say yes to the activities you would normally skip, and hire the babysitter for one evening that month. You will be surprised how much fun you can have when you push yourself (and one another) out of your comfort zone.

What started as a cute idea turned into one of the best things we could have done for our relationship. If your date nights, or lack thereof, need a refresh, we cannot recommend alphabet dating enough. Trust us when we say your date nights will never be the same again.

Our List

Alphabet Date Ideas:

A – Art gallery / Aquarium / Arcade / Axe throwing
B – Baking/ Blindfold/ Bowling / Beach / Boat
C – Cinema / Cooking class / Concert / Camping
D – Dinner / Double date / Disneyland
E – Escape room / Eat out / Explore a new city
F – Funfair / Football game / Food hall
G – Golf / Go-karting / Gun range
H – Horse riding / Helicopter ride / Hiking /The “Hat”
I – Indoor Camping/Ice cream / Ice skating / IKEA
J – Jet ski / Jazz bar / Jacuzzi / Jigsaw puzzle
K – Karaoke / Kayaking / Kew Gardens
L – Laguna Beach/ Long Walk/ Lupe’s Mexican/ Laser tag / Legoland / Lunch
M – Movie night / Massage / Museum
N – NFL game / NBA game / Nature walk
O – Opera show / Outdoor cinema
P – Pizza making / Pool party / PlayStation
Q – Quad biking / Quiz night
R – Road trip / Roller skating
S – Spa / Stargazing
T – Theme park / Taco night
U – Universal Studios
V – Vacation / Video games / Vineyard
W – Water park / Wine tasting
X – Xbox
Y – Yoga class
Z – Zoo / Zip line